I miss friends...

I was just talking with a friend who's having some problems and I feel completely useless. It's been so long since I've socialized with anyone other than Renee and I just... miss certain people. I miss the way things used to be. I love being independent but I just... want everyone together... my old friends. I want to lay on the floor during a study hall and sleep until ten minutes before the bell. Or walk in circles because there's nothing better to do. I miss being weird and having weird people to be weird with.

I think I'm scared to make new friends because I don't even keep in touch with the friends I already have. And that's completely my fault. I think. Maybe it's just the way things work. We all get old and lose people. I choose not to think that way, but how is it supposed to work? Why can't I make any new friends? I feel like my mission isn't complete with the "old friends" so how can I focus my attention to new people? It just doesn't seem right...

Anyway, my reason for writing this entry is because I don't know what to say. Since I've been slacking in the keeping-in-touch department (when's the last time I've called anyone?) I feel fake giving my opinions to a certain someone (you probably know who you are since I haven't talked to anyone else). If I haven't kept up, what gives me any right to tell you how I feel? Why do I matter? But my intention was just to show that I still care. As cheesy as that sounds. I want the best for all my friends, even if I haven't had the time or motivation or whatever to call or IM or email, etc. If there's anything I can do, please just let me know...